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A lady at work has been stuggling with a son who has got involved with drugs. We were praying with her at our daily devotions. i didn't pray for her. not out of lack of sympathy, maybe even empathy, but because i didn't have anything to pray. i had no strategy, no thoughts that might make things better (whatever better is anyway).

after getting on for five years biblical study, here i am with nothing to say. i think that i have become so concerned with getting stuff right that the very fact that jesus heals and gives hope somewhere got lost in the fog. what good is a resigned 'well that life' do? but in the meantime, i don't think i know what to expect of god anymore. my reflections on the cross as the centrepiece of god's inbreaking love is that jesus suffered. he suffered that we might know the father. i absolutely believe this, but what do it look like? what does this look like to someone who has lost their mother, or got a diseased thumb, or failed an exam?

i'm kind of stuck between a rock and a capstone, and i'm stumbling.