Room 101

Oh to bash the face of Richard Madely right in,
but would that amount to an unforgiveable sin?
every tea time his unbearable smug face grin,
makes me want to imprison him in an airtight bin.

And what of Trinny and Susannah?
those queens of chic and well schooled grammar,
every time I see them I want to unfurl a banner,
'twenty pence a hit with a solid metal spanner.'

But don't let's talk about Piers Morgan,
Good ole Tony's slimiest fan,
He printed fake photos of war,
and praise the lord was shown the door.

And Monsieur Grudem from Ivory Tower heights,
He sits with his bible and bites,
At anyone who lives outside his little box,
especially those humans with long flowing locks.

So many people about whom to compose ditties,
But I fear my eyes are getting somewhat gritty,
Filled as they are with big logs of tree
I guess i'll keep going till i'm really me.